Truth be Told

Not too long ago I was venting to my BFF about my husband. As only a BFF who’s known you for years can do, she told me that I was the one with the problem. Now, when your BFF takes your husband’s side over yours, you know two things. First, she’s a true friend and, second, the problem is TRULY yours!

We talked more and she shared some insights that she has learned through struggles in her own new marriage. She recommended Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. While she doesn’t promote herself as a Christian author, Dr. Laura has some good things to say about relationships and, in this book specifically, she challenges wives. God used that open door to show me the error of my ways!

It’s a dangerous place to be when we let our own selfishness get in the way of caring about and for our husbands. No, I don’t mean the very basic needs they have, but caring. What kind of day did he have, what does he need right now, what can I do to make his life better, easier. What kind of stress is he feeling from his day?

As a wife, I was starting to feel like my husband “owed” me because of all the things I was doing to manage our life and home — and I don’t even have kids! I imagine how much more that temptation is when there are children involved. That’s a bad place to be. It’s a breeding ground for resentment, disappointment and loss of warm, fuzzy feelings. I had to ask my husband to forgive me and then I had to take a serious look at my heart and my attitude. I quit praying so much for him to change and started praying for God to change me — yep, me. Funny thing … I started liking my husband again.

Sally Hall