Monday, October 25, 2010

Don’t Ask If…

The greeting of the day seems to be, “How are you doing?” But very few people want to hear your story and how you are really doing. They want the correct answer to be, “I’m doing great.” But that is not always the case, is it? There have been times in my life when I was asked that very question and my heart might have been breaking, but because I knew that they really didn’t want to know, they were just being polite, I would give the standard answer, “I’m doing fine.”

Don’t ask if you don’t really want to know! As Believers, we should be ready to listen with a patient heart … and sometimes their answer comes in silent ways; in their eyes or in their voice or in body language. Take time to look beyond the words and really hear what they are saying.

We live in such a “Drive Thru, Do it Quick” world and we can’t or we won’t take the time to listen, hear and genuinely care about our sisters and brothers. There are folks out there that are dying to be heard and cared about … be that someone.

Romans 12:9-13 says, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patent in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

The next time you say the words, “How are you doing?” Remember; don’t ask if you don’t really want to know!

Patricia Harvey


  1. I catch myself asking to ask how people are doing without really listening or caring sometimes.... I love this idea of stopping caring and listening no matter what they have to say. I am suppose to shine in all I do especially at work.

  2. I agree with you completely on this, Patricia.
    When I ask someone how they're doing and they say, "fine," if they don't sound fine, I usually follow up with something like, "Oh. That was convincing!" Usually catches them off guard, but it gets them to be more honest, too.
    I think it goes both ways - we need to be sincere in the ask AND honest in the answer.
    Thanks for bringing it up!

  3. This reminds me of a funny saying that my husband used to quote: "Don't tell your friends of your indigestion, "how are you?" is a greeting not a question!"

    It's one of those sayings that is both funny...and sad! Especially as it relates to people in the Body of Christ. Yes, I agree that we should stop, listen and show we care! I have found that there are many people who will open up if I sincerely show I care by asking them a few questions after the first "How are you?" There are so many people carrying burdens and feeling like no one cares about them. And sometimes it lightens their load just by letting them share with you...and praying for them.

    God bless you!...and...How ARE you doing?